232.
Her boka g\u00fcc\u00fcm yeter zannediyorum bazen. Her \u015feyin \u00fcstesinden gelirim, herkesin a\u011fz\u0131n\u0131n pay\u0131n\u0131 veririm diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorum. Hele ki bir ka\u00e7 duble de rak\u0131 i\u00e7tiysem Zalo\u011flu R\u00fcstem Pehlivan \u00e7\u0131ksa kar\u015f\u0131ma madara eder yollarm\u0131\u015f\u0131m gibi geliyor bana. Derken onunla kar\u015f\u0131la\u015f\u0131yorum. O.. D\u00f6rt taraf\u0131 kapal\u0131 antep f\u0131st\u0131\u011f\u0131. En ba\u015fta g\u00f6rmezden geliyorum onu, bir kenara b\u0131rak\u0131p \u00fcst taraf\u0131 geni\u015f yar\u0131kl\u0131 f\u0131st\u0131klar\u0131 indiriyorum mideye. Ama her \u015fey gibi onlar da bitiyor elbet ve pakette kalan ve o ana kadar umursamad\u0131\u011f\u0131m her taraf\u0131 kapal\u0131 antep f\u0131st\u0131\u011f\u0131yla g\u00f6z g\u00f6ze geliyorum ka\u00e7\u0131n\u0131lmaz olarak. Ve m\u00fccadele ba\u015fl\u0131yor. \u00c7\u00f6plerle birlikte \u00e7\u00f6p po\u015fetine atmay\u0131 gururuma yediremiyorum, \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc \u00f6yle yaparsam g\u00fczel devam eden geceyi ma\u011flubiyetle bitirmi\u015f olaca\u011f\u0131m. \u00c7aresiz elime al\u0131p kendisini, m\u00fcstehzi bir tav\u0131rla s\u00fcz\u00fcp bir \u00e7atlak, bir a\u00e7\u0131kl\u0131k, bir t\u0131rna\u011f\u0131m\u0131 sokacak bo\u015fluk ar\u0131yorum. Ama yok, \u015ferefsiz antep f\u0131st\u0131\u011f\u0131 k\u0131rk yerden kilitli kale kap\u0131s\u0131 gibi \u0131\u015f\u0131k s\u0131zd\u0131rmamacas\u0131na kapanm\u0131\u015f i\u00e7ine. Umudum k\u0131r\u0131l\u0131yor lakin ma\u011flubiyeti kendime yediremedi\u011fimden a\u011fz\u0131m\u0131n sol taraf\u0131na at\u0131p kendisini yorgun di\u015flerimle ve birikmi\u015f bir h\u0131n\u00e7la aban\u0131yorum. Ayn\u0131 anda k\u0131rk yerden k\u0131r\u0131l\u0131yor melun antep f\u0131st\u0131\u011f\u0131. F\u0131st\u0131k i\u00e7i ve kabuklar imkans\u0131z k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fckl\u00fckte par\u00e7alarla i\u00e7 i\u00e7e ge\u00e7iyor. Yenilebilecek k\u0131s\u0131mlarla yenilemeyecek k\u0131s\u0131mlar\u0131 birbirinden ay\u0131ram\u0131yorum ve derin bir nefretle ne varsa a\u011fz\u0131m\u0131n i\u00e7inde \u00e7\u00f6p po\u015fetine t\u00fck\u00fcrerek hayk\u0131r\u0131yorum. Mutlu musun orospu \u00e7ocu\u011funun antep f\u0131st\u0131\u011f\u0131, yenildim sana!!<\/p>\n
233.
K\u0131r\u0131kl\u0131\u011fa yazg\u0131l\u0131ysa da t\u00fcm \u00e7ocukluk hayalleri
Annemin terli\u011fine ve yer yataklar\u0131na ra\u011fmen
Tasolar\u0131m vard\u0131 benim bir de hayal k\u0131r\u0131kl\u0131klar\u0131m.
B\u0131\u00e7k\u0131nd\u0131m, \u00e7ocuk irilerinden topumu koruyacak kadar
Ve babam\u0131n ald\u0131\u011f\u0131 kolu bozuk atariye
\u00d6z\u00fcr\u00fcn\u00fc hissettirmeyecek kadar da delikanl\u0131yd\u0131m
Soruyorum bazen n’oldu lan, ne ara bu kadar b\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fcm?
Sanki ben b\u00fcy\u00fcmemi\u015fim de d\u00fcnya k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f gibi
Kendimden ba\u015fka herkese tahamm\u00fcl ediyorum bazen
Kendimle beraber herkesten nefret etmeme ra\u011fmen..<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
232.Her boka g\u00fcc\u00fcm yeter zannediyorum bazen. Her \u015feyin \u00fcstesinden gelirim, herkesin a\u011fz\u0131n\u0131n pay\u0131n\u0131 veririm diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorum. Hele ki bir ka\u00e7 duble de rak\u0131 i\u00e7tiysem Zalo\u011flu R\u00fcstem Pehlivan \u00e7\u0131ksa kar\u015f\u0131ma madara eder yollarm\u0131\u015f\u0131m gibi geliyor bana. Derken onunla kar\u015f\u0131la\u015f\u0131yorum. O.. D\u00f6rt taraf\u0131 kapal\u0131 antep f\u0131st\u0131\u011f\u0131. En ba\u015fta g\u00f6rmezden geliyorum onu, bir kenara b\u0131rak\u0131p \u00fcst taraf\u0131 geni\u015f […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"1","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/alilidar.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/336"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/alilidar.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/alilidar.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/alilidar.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/alilidar.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=336"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/alilidar.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/336\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/alilidar.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=336"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/alilidar.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=336"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/alilidar.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=336"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}