O kadar ac\u0131 \u00e7eker ki insan, canl\u0131lar aras\u0131nda bir tek o kahkahay\u0131 icat etmek zorunda kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r der Nietzsche. Ya da buna benzer bir \u015fey i\u015fte sarho\u015fum \u015fimdi bu kadar hat\u0131rl\u0131yorum…
Elbistan \u015eeker Fabrikas\u0131’nda \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yordu babam. Ortaokul y\u0131llar\u0131m.. Ertesi tatil olan baz\u0131 g\u00fcnler i\u015fyerine g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcrd\u00fc beni. Orada tan\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m \u015eeref amcayla. D\u00fcnyan\u0131n en g\u00fczel g\u00fclen adam\u0131yd\u0131. Hafiften de Kemal Sunal’a benzerdi. Cebinde hep \u015feker ta\u015f\u0131rd\u0131. Ya da benimle kar\u015f\u0131la\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131 zamanlarda cebinde hep \u015feker olurdu, bilmiyorum. Ne zaman beni g\u00f6rse kocaman g\u00fcl\u00fcmser sonra cebinden \u015feker \u00e7\u0131kart\u0131p verirdi. Bir keresinde \u015funa benzer bir \u015fey s\u00f6yledi\u011fini an\u0131ms\u0131yorum babam\u0131n. “Bu \u015eeref kadar gams\u0131z adam yoktur. D\u00fcnya yansa i\u00e7inde has\u0131r\u0131 yok derler ya, \u00f6yle bir adam. Surat ast\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6ren yoktur. Ne olursa olsun hep g\u00fcler..”
Bir ak\u015fam morali epey bozuk geldi babam. Sordu annem ne oldu diye. O anlat\u0131rken ben de duydum. Kendini asm\u0131\u015f \u015eeref amca. Fabrikan\u0131n kazan dairesinde…
Kim bilir nas\u0131l ac\u0131 \u00e7ekiyordu da bu kadar \u00e7ok g\u00fcl\u00fcyordu. Dinmi\u015ftir \u00f6l\u00fcnce ac\u0131lar\u0131. \u00d6l\u00fcm her \u015feyi s\u0131f\u0131rlar..
Yirmi k\u00fcs\u00fcr y\u0131l ge\u00e7mi\u015f \u00fcst\u00fcnden. Cin i\u00e7iyorum Caner’le beraber. Yan masada birileri Nietzsche’den bahsetti. Duyunca yukarda yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131m s\u00f6z\u00fc hat\u0131rlad\u0131m. O s\u00f6z de birden bire \u015eeref amcay\u0131 an\u0131msatt\u0131 durduk yere. Bellek yav\u015fak bir d\u00fc\u015fman gibi davran\u0131yor bazen. Can\u0131n\u0131 yakacak \u015feyleri tamamen unutmana izin vermiyor. Freud’unun da am\u0131na koyim bilin\u00e7alt\u0131n\u0131nda..!
Haberi duydu\u011fum ilk andan daha \u00e7ok \u00fczg\u00fcn\u00fcm \u015fu an. \u015eeref amca i\u00e7in yeterince \u00fcz\u00fclmemi\u015f olmam\u0131n mahcubiyeti bu san\u0131r\u0131m. Mahcubiyet b\u00f6yle bir \u015fey i\u015fte. Gecikmeye gelmez. Geciken mahcubiyet ekstra \u00fcz\u00fcnt\u00fc ve utan\u00e7la \u00e7\u0131kart\u0131r ac\u0131s\u0131n\u0131..
Son duble cini \u015eeref amcan\u0131n an\u0131s\u0131na s\u00f6yledim. Araya bir de \u00e7ay s\u0131k\u0131\u015ft\u0131rd\u0131m. Ve \u015fu an kafamda tek bir soru var. E\u011fer uyumam\u0131\u015fsa eve gider gitmez babama soraca\u011f\u0131m. \u015eeref amca g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u00fcyor muydu ipte sallan\u0131rken?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
O kadar ac\u0131 \u00e7eker ki insan, canl\u0131lar aras\u0131nda bir tek o kahkahay\u0131 icat etmek zorunda kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r der Nietzsche. Ya da buna benzer bir \u015fey i\u015fte sarho\u015fum \u015fimdi bu kadar hat\u0131rl\u0131yorum…Elbistan \u015eeker Fabrikas\u0131’nda \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yordu babam. Ortaokul y\u0131llar\u0131m.. Ertesi tatil olan baz\u0131 g\u00fcnler i\u015fyerine g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcrd\u00fc beni. Orada tan\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m \u015eeref amcayla. D\u00fcnyan\u0131n en g\u00fczel g\u00fclen adam\u0131yd\u0131. Hafiften de […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"1","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/alilidar.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/287"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/alilidar.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/alilidar.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/alilidar.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/alilidar.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=287"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/alilidar.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/287\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/alilidar.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=287"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/alilidar.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=287"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/alilidar.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=287"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}