Ortada bir s\u00fcr\u00fc \u015fey vard\u0131r asl\u0131nda, ama s\u00f6yleyecek hi\u00e7bir \u015fey yoktur. Durmaks\u0131z\u0131n d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmeler, uykusuz ge\u00e7en geceler, (uyku ile ge\u00e7en geceler), parkta i\u00e7ilen \u015faraplar, s\u0131rf \u015firin g\u00f6z\u00fckmek i\u00e7in te\u015febb\u00fcs edilen yalanlar; bazen k\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131k, bazen deli eden bir sar\u0131lma iste\u011fi, g\u00f6r\u00fclmeyen ama orada oldu\u011fu bilinen kocaman bir g\u00fcl\u00fcmseme (nas\u0131l da berrak. Su gibi. Ayd\u0131nl\u0131k. \u0130taat hissi veren), tek bir s\u00f6zle \u00fcz\u00fclmeler tek bir s\u00f6zle sevinmeler tek bir s\u00f6zle ne bok yiyece\u011fini bilememeler ve kayg\u0131 ve sevgi ve \u00f6zlem ve sar\u0131lma iste\u011fi.. \u0130lle de o sar\u0131lma iste\u011fi. Nas\u0131l anlat\u0131l\u0131r bu? Sana sar\u0131lmak istiyorum. Yaz\u0131nca olmuyor i\u015fte, s\u00f6yleyince de eksik. Ne kadar da uza\u011f\u0131nda s\u00f6ylemek hissetmenin. Bazen insan bin k\u00fcs\u00fcr kilometre uzaktayken bile o kadar \u00e7ok sarmak ister ki, sonunda sar\u0131l\u0131r. Korkun\u00e7 g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc bir sar\u0131lmad\u0131r bu \u00fcstelik. Sert ve metafizik. Ger\u00e7ek bir sar\u0131lma olmaz belki ama nedir ki zaten ger\u00e7ek? G\u00f6zlerini yeterince s\u0131k\u0131 kapat\u0131p i\u00e7indeki t\u00fcm bo\u015fluklar\u0131 onunla doldurabilirsen e\u011fer, pekala m\u00fcmk\u00fcnd\u00fcr sar\u0131labilmek. Bu sar\u0131lmay\u0131 s\u00f6zlerle anlatamazs\u0131n. En fazla sana sar\u0131lmak istiyorum dersin, o da g\u00fcl\u00fcmser, belki iglo’lardan falan bahseder. Sen de g\u00fcl\u00fcmsersin. S\u00f6z amac\u0131na ula\u015famam\u0131\u015ft\u0131r belki. Ama bilirsin, o kadar kuvvetli yummu\u015fsundur ki g\u00f6zlerini ve o kadar y\u00fcrekten istemi\u015fsindir ki sar\u0131lmay\u0131.. O anlar. Cevap vermez belki ama anlar. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc bilir o da, ortada bir s\u00fcr\u00fc \u015fey vard\u0131r asl\u0131nda ve kelimelerin hisler kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda hi\u00e7bir h\u00fckm\u00fc yoktur..<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Ortada bir s\u00fcr\u00fc \u015fey vard\u0131r asl\u0131nda, ama s\u00f6yleyecek hi\u00e7bir \u015fey yoktur. Durmaks\u0131z\u0131n d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmeler, uykusuz ge\u00e7en geceler, (uyku ile ge\u00e7en geceler), parkta i\u00e7ilen \u015faraplar, s\u0131rf \u015firin g\u00f6z\u00fckmek i\u00e7in te\u015febb\u00fcs edilen yalanlar; bazen k\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131k, bazen deli eden bir sar\u0131lma iste\u011fi, g\u00f6r\u00fclmeyen ama orada oldu\u011fu bilinen kocaman bir g\u00fcl\u00fcmseme (nas\u0131l da berrak. Su gibi. Ayd\u0131nl\u0131k. \u0130taat hissi veren), […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"1","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/alilidar.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/268"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/alilidar.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/alilidar.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/alilidar.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/alilidar.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=268"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/alilidar.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/268\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/alilidar.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=268"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/alilidar.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=268"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/alilidar.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=268"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}